I was born in inner city Philadelphia. Shortly after birth, I was presented for adoption by my mother, Barbara Hewlett. She was a college student at the time and did not have the means to support me and was not encouraged to do so by her parents and friends due to my illegitimacy.

Unfortunately, I was never officially adopted but found myself instead in two foster families. The first family that took my under their roof was the Rockymore/McClellans. Great group of people who I really think actually cared about me. My most fondest memories of my childhood was falling asleep on many occasions while at the drive-in movies. We, my three foster brothers and I, would always have our "jammies" on under our street clothes and would be carried from the car in the arms of our parents and tucked into bed.

The parents became alcoholics and the mother had a stroke that called for us to have to be pulled from them. However, I have a strong memory of their support of my creativity.

Unfortunately, I don't remember much else of this family because with the help of the second family, they were successfully associated with everything bad and therefore erased from my psyche.

The second family, the Reeds, were very religious and very judgmental. Unfortunately, the judgment led to a lot of problems later in my life. I felt so judged about who I was as a result of my first family situation that it took me a long time to feel good about myself.

Even with this judgment they were still good at supporting me in my educational pursuits. They saw my educational potential and nourished it. Unfortunately at the expense of any other potential but oh well.

They kept me out of harms way in many cases and I thank them for it.

From my early pre-school education to my current doctoral candidacy, I was publicly educated. I began my education in the Head Start Program in Philadelphia, which pre-pared my for Elementary Education.

I moved from Head Start into Kindergarten at Mc Daniel Elementary School and remained their until graduation in sixth grade.

I moved on first to Barrett Jr. High School and then transferring to Vare Jr. High School where it was a much more comfortable and supporting atmosphere. At Vare I participated in many extra-curricular activities, the most memorable of which was the Glee Club (Choir). I distinctly remember the vocal teachings of Mrs. Clark. I am not sure where she is today or if she is still around but if she is I would love to thank her for her encouragement and support.

One story I remember where she mad an impact involved me walking down the hallway which led to her classroom. I was walking with my head down and looking at the floor. Not noticing her at her door she said to me: "Why are you walking with your head down?" The question took me by surprise so I didn't have much of an answer. After I muttered something she something that I will always remember. She said something to the effect of "Always look up and hold your head high. Remember that you are the descendent of ancient Kings and Queens of African Empires. You have nothing to look down for but everything to look forward to." My self confidence has never been the same. Thank you Mrs. Clark.

From Jr. High School I moved on to Overbrook High School, where I was involved in the Art, Music and Academic Magnet Programs. Living in South Philadelphia I had to take either two buses and two trains to get there or one painfully long bus ride. My High School experience was not the best. I was ostracized a lot. I hated the click thing. I was pretty much a geek until my last year. I was always told how smart I was but hated it. Smart over popular! Who needs it? So I ended up graduating with no friends. I have not one person who I keep in touch with from OHS.

As my resume tells you, I moved on from H.S. to a commonwealth university, which is both publicly and privately supported. There I got in touch with my desire to interact and know people. I also got into yell leading. The male counterpart to cheer leading. Hmmm! People always say to me: "Why did you do that girl sport?" The reality is if people look at the tradition of education in the U.S., they will find that women were not allowed in the early academy and the tradition of a yell leader for each of the classes goes a much longer way back than the modern day female dominated cheer leading we know today. The point is that my involvement led me to the South after undergraduate school to be the coach for a yell and cheer squad at a small school in South Carolina, called Winthrop College.

I didn't stay too long because the atmosphere was not as conducive as I thought and the Master of Arts in Teaching Program was not for me. I ended up leaving and going north to Charlotte for a Counseling Psychology Program. After finishing there I went for my first real jobs in California and Colorado. I didn't head off for my Ph.D. until I was told by my employers at the College of Engineering in Boulder that I wouldn't get anymore money or a higher title without one. So I landed here in Arizona after deciding it was an easier place to navigate the structure of a Top 25 program.

One thing I can say when people question whether the public education system is necessary. I wouldn't be where I am today without it.

So how did I get from the inner city ghettos of Philadelphia to a being a potential Ph.D. graduate? What was it that motivated my resilience? I tell people if I knew what it was, I would bottle it up and sell it. Some of it is intention. Some of it is help. Some of it is motivation not to be what people have doomed me to be. Some of it is just dumb luck. I also think that most of it comes from a desire to help others through the adversity that I have overcome.

So what is my plan? It's pretty simple. To experience life at its fullest and to enjoy what I experience. I am not married to any particular experience and in fact I try not to put myself in any particular box that will produce specificity. I love spontaneity and for me some of the best experiences are those that are unplanned. So I guess I am only half of a man if I only plan to be spontaneous.

Although the single highest goal, to gain a Ph.D., I am about to achieve, I do have a few more. The plan is to become a professor in order to have a lifestyle that will afford me the ability to continue to meet and impact people. I would also like to write. Books are more my style I think. My first book will be an extension of my Dissertation. I hope to secure some funding that will allow me to do some ethnographic work in a number of countries regarding the subjective meanings that individuals hold in terms of their spirituality and religiosity. I would also like to start a business. I want to do feasibility studies for companies that are planning to globalize by taking their product or service into other countries or investment groups in other countries that want to transfer a U.S. concept to their home country. In the long run, I would also like to hold some public office that truly represents the interests of people.

There you have it an unofficial commentary on my unofficial life.

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Thanks!

Brian

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